Are You Listening to Your Feelings or Just Trying to “Tough It Out?”
I have noticed a pattern in my behavior that I want to share in order to help myself better understand what is going on.
And to hopefully help you self-identify what your signs are for burnout.
Remember that burnout can happen at any time to anyone.
We frequently get stressed and overwhelmed by the holidays, our jobs, clients, or even our families.
Instead of just “toughing it out” you might want to take a closer look at what your feelings are telling you so that you don’t burn out entirely.
Getting Everything Done
I have been noticing that I will have one day where I get everything done on my todo list and then some.
Like cleaning the whole house, taking care of additional projects, doing laundry, running the dishwasher, and picking up outside.
Now I used to expect myself to have a day like that everyday and at one point it was “not okay” for me to have anything less than that day.
After going through burnout I realized that those high expectations contributed to my burnout.
Expecting myself to be perfect, to get all my business tasks done, make dinner, and clean the house was just too much for me.
It may not be for you and it was for me.
How I Know When I Do Too Much
After recovering from burning out I tried to have a day like that again.
I tried to meet all of those expectations and I would be exhausted the next day.
I would want to sleep and do nothing else the entire day.
I would be grumpy, have a short temper, and snap easily at any little thing.
Strangely enough, I didn’t want to do anything and at the same time, I was bored out of my mind.
If you are nodding your head while reading this then you know exactly how frustrating that can be.
How I Was Showing Up
I don’t want to show up as a grumpy, angry person, so I would meditate, take a walk, and sometimes I can shake it off.
And sometimes I can’t.
I have no idea why I get different results at different times.
I do know that being grumpy without an explanation is a sign for me that I am overdoing it.
That my expectations are too high and I am pushing myself too much.
That I need to step back or else I will burn out again.
How I Recover From Being Grumpy
I’ve started doing two things to help me have fewer grumpy moments in my day.
Step #1: Shift
I have asked someone that is close to me and that I respect to give me a head’s up when I am acting very sarcastic, short, angry, or grumpy.
And then I get to choose how I want to take myself out of the situation and do something different.
Normally, I use meditation to help me shift my energy so that I can go back into the situation from a different perspective.
Sometimes a short walk can also help me shift my energy.
It helps me to remember that I have a choice in each and every situation.
I can choose how I show up.
And I can choose to engage in whatever I want.
On a deeper level, I can choose to continue being grumpy or find a way to release that emotion.
Step #2: Reflection
The day that I show up really grumpy I try to take a few minutes to reflect on what I am grumpy about.
And then I think about the things that I did the day before and how that might be impacting me.
Here are some example days that have burned me out recently and the next day I was incredibly grumpy.
- Celebrating the holidays with two separate families
- Having a planned event every day during the weekend
- Not having planned downtime
- Not having a weekend day off from cleaning or buying groceries
- Taking care of 3 dogs by myself
- Driving 2-hours for a 1-hour meeting
- Driving over 2-hours for all-day meetings with clients
Now these things may make sense to you and they may seem like little things.
You might want to tell me to “toughen up” and handle them because it is just a part of life.
I used to think that I needed to just “suck it up” and make it through it.
And at that time I was just holding on and surviving in my life instead of living it.
And then I burned out.
Now, telling myself to “suck it up” no longer works for me.
I choose not to burn out again.
Instead, I try to evaluate the things that burned me out before so that I can change the circumstances.
And then I can change how I am showing up.
Ready to See A Change In Your Life?
Below I’ve put together a way for you to evaluate how you are showing up in your life.
The first step is the “30-minute Challenge” that was created specifically for you after reading this blog post. The challenge will give you a specific action or idea to journal on to help you start to see a change in your life.
Try the challenge and see how you feel when you are doing it. This is very important to help you start to shift out of old patterns of thought and action.
Then you can use the “Coach Yourself” questions to help you work through things that might be showing up for you. And identify how you want to show up in the future.
Step 1: 30-Minute Challenge
This week, the next time you feel grumpy, angry, quick to snap at people and you don’t want to continue feeling that way do this exercise.
Take 15 to 30-minutes and look at what you did the day before and the week leading up to that day.
You can journal about anything that stands out to you as something that might be too much or was super stressful.
Then choose to take time for yourself and don’t do anything useful, only something that you like to do that gives you energy.
Challenge yourself by scheduling time this week to do something that gives you energy and is not useful.
Step 2: Coach Yourself
What came up for you after journalling?
What did you choose to do to serve yourself and give you energy?
How are you able to incorporate this into your weekly or daily routine so you can continue to get great energy?
What can you remove from your schedule so that you don’t feel that level of grumpiness this week too?
Take The Next Step…
Get More Support
When you are ready to get more support to make the changes that you want to see in your life set up a free strategy session to get started.
Beat Burnout Quiz
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