Why It Took Me 8 Months to Cancel Vision Insurance That I Was Paying for Twice
Normally, I am a very “on top of getting things done” type of person, especially if I am able to save money.
There are some things I put off however, normally they only go a few days or weeks at most before they get done.
Or I figure out a way to work around it.
Like when my husband and I didn’t have a dishwasher or energy to wash our dishes so we came up with “no plate November” and ate off of paper plates for the next 7 months.
Overall, I am pretty good at adulting and not ignoring things that take extra energy to do.
And Then I Burned Out
Everything just seemed to not matter anymore.
Doing simple things like making food, i.e. pouring a bowl of cereal, became a huge task.
Things that happened during that time period just got lost.
This is my interpretation of ‘errand paralysis.’
I experienced errand paralysis on a large scale.
I was first introduced to this concept when reading Anne Klein Petersen’s article on how “Millennials Became the Burnout Generation.”
And I have experienced this in ways that I didn’t even see until recently.
In the Beginning
When I first burned out going to the store for more food was a huge task.
It was also summertime so tasks like watering the lawn or my flowers definitely didn’t happen.
It took several weeks before I even realized that they had died.
Routine business tasks took hours to complete.
And it wasn’t until recently that I realized I had been putting off other tasks that should have been taken care of last year.
And paying for them monthly.
There was no reason not to do them.
I just didn’t do it.
It Made Sense to Change It…So Why Didn’t I?
In July of last year, I changed insurance and received new vision insurance.
The same type of insurance that I already had.
I canceled all of my other plans.
But this one I kept.
And I felt guilty for not dealing with it.
I felt like I was being silly and not being an adult.
I felt like I was failing at managing my life because I was letting one expense go month after month.
I felt crazy at times because it made logical sense to cancel it, and yet I didn’t do it.
In the end, it wasn’t painful enough for me to do anything about it.
So I would just keep putting it off.
What I Was Telling Myself
I told myself I would cancel it when I received a new card for the insurance.
But I didn’t.
I told myself that it was because I needed to follow up with the office to make sure that they had my new insurance before canceling the old.
But I never did.
I told myself that I needed to use up the benefits on the old insurance before using the new insurance.
But I never did.
I told myself I needed to cancel it because it was money that I didn’t need to be spending each month.
But I never did.
For eight months I didn’t cancel this extra insurance.
And everything that I was telling myself I could have taken care of easily with a couple of phone calls.
I even knew how to cancel the plan and it still took me eight months to do it.
Because it took too much energy to write an email that would cancel my plan.
Why Didn’t I Do Anything About It?
I believe that it took me this long to do anything about the extra insurance was because I was so low on energy.
It has taken me a while to get back to a place where common everyday tasks don’t use up all of my energy.
When I was in burnout showering, getting dressed, and eating breakfast was a lot of work.
So as I slowly restored my energy reserves I had to prioritize what was important and what wasn’t.
For a few more months it wasn’t important for me to deal with my insurance.
Instead, I just let it go and I paid the money for it.
This doesn’t mean it was the best solution.
It just means that I made a choice that at the time served me best.
I wasn’t able to deal with it so I put it off.
And then when I did have the energy to deal with it, I took care of it.
Why Am I Sharing This With You?
I’m sharing this experience to show you the power of burnout.
I have felt like I have moved away from burnout for the last few months.
Yet, I still experience errand paralysis.
Sometimes this is due to the fact that my to-do list is too long and my expectations are way too high.
Sometimes things don’t get done because I put my energy into something else.
Sometimes it is because I just don’t care about doing that thing.
As I have created new habits, found balance in my work, and prioritized myself in my business I have fewer things that I am putting off.
And my level of “adulting” has definitely increased.
What Being Self-Aware Looks Like for Me
Now I am able to gauge where I am at better than I was able to before.
Before I was always tired.
Now I can identify if I have the energy or if I need to do something else so that I don’t keep pushing myself without a break.
Which is what I did before I burned out.
I am sure that I had other instances of errand paralysis before burning out.
However, I don’t remember what they were.
Now, I am still wrapping up tasks that I have put off for a while and it is a reminder to me to continue to build patterns of thought and action that help me not burn out again.
Ready to See A Change In Your Life?
I’ve put together a way for you to evaluate how you are showing up in your life.
The first step is the “30-minute Challenge” that was created specifically for you to use after reading or listening to this blog post. The challenge will give you a specific action or idea to journal on to help you start to see a change in your life.
Try the challenge and see how you feel when you are doing it.
This is very important to help you start to shift out of old patterns of thought and action.
Then you can use the “Coach Yourself” questions to help you work through things that might be showing up for you. And identify how you want to show up in the future.
Both of these exercises will help you to create new habits, find balance in your work, and prioritize yourself in your business.
Step 1: 30-Minute Challenge
Take a few minutes to sit and think about or journal on the question and the exercise below:
How do you feel about tasks you have been putting off for weeks or months?
Make a list of the top 1-2 tasks that you have been putting off for a while.
Write down why you haven’t completed those tasks without judgment.
Challenge yourself to spend 30-minutes doing something that gives you energy this week and then look at your two top tasks and see if anything has changed about how you feel about them.
Step 2: Coach Yourself
Write down what judgments came up for you about not completing those tasks.
Where else are these judgments showing up in your life?
What else came up for you when you think about these tasks?
What is one small step you can take to see progress on one of your top tasks?
Take The Next Step…
Get More Support
When you are ready to get more support to make the changes that you want to see in your life set up a free strategy session to get started.
Beat Burnout Quiz
Or click the button below to find out if you are in burnout by taking a quick 5-minute quiz.
Article: How Millennials Became the Burnout Generation: https://www.buzzfeednews.com/article/annehelenpetersen/millennials-burnout-generation-debt-work